We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

This is My Confession

by Onward Chariots

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Please try individual tracks - but ultimately this album is made to be heard as a unit.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more


Opening 01:25
(this track is meant to be heard together with "Confession I") won't you stay?
(this track is meant to be heard together with "Opening") This is my confession. The only way I have to make you see. It was my obsession. It made me into who I shouldn’t be. Oh, hear before you leave. You tell me that I lied to you. But every lie begins as truth. I did what any desperate man would do. This is my confession. I didn’t mean to turn out how I am. You can learn my lesson. The rescue didn’t turn out how I planned. You need to understand. You saw us in a fantasy. But that’s not you, and that’s not me. The castles fall and that’s ok. A baby’s smile can take your breath away. This is my confession. The noble quest that led me through the dirt. I was on a mission. She didn’t say it hurt. I sang a hymn of light and truth, Of rosy dreams and desperate youth. I tried to ride a shining star. I beat a path with my guitar. I begged and yelled, I prayed and failed. But all to find the Holy Grail. I slaughtered thousands. No one knew. And don’t you see the only goal was you? Check out my obsession. An endless loop. It goes on and on and on and on and on until you’re gone. This is my confession!
Mel Gibson 04:02
Wild and sad and mad and free, you roared across the screen, Fighting the drug lords, fighting your personal demons. As you threatened suicide, we held each other tight. Yelling in pain, you got our adrenalin screaming. You gave our lives the greatest thrill they ever had. Who’d have guessed Mad Max was really mad? You were so cool. You were so cool. Sweat in your hair, a thrill in the air. So what happened? You were so cool. You were so cool. Was all your mania real? Or what happened? Driving through the desert sun, your face was harsh and real Beating up bikers, heating up seats in our theater. You were different, on the edge. You showed us how to feel. Crushing the malls / we sat on the couch, you made our suburban nights sweeter. Those drunken threats you made, the girlfriend you attacked. That troubled tough guy wasn’t just an act. You were so cool. You were so cool. You lit up the screen when I was sixteen. So what happened? You were so cool. You were so cool. A hero with fire in your eyes So what happened? I dropped my latte when I heard the morning news. Mel was mad. His girlfriend had accused him of abuse Drinking too much booze and spouting crazy right-wing views. I refuse. Please don’t abuse your wife Or blame the Jews for your life. You were the man. I don’t understand. Mel, what happened? You were so cool!
Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. Sisters and brothers. Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. There for each other. Brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters. Shouldn't I miss her? I call and you don't care. You talk and I just stare. So it wasn't endless summertime. But we were amazing in our prime. And that means something still. Did I leave you so offended? Can't I get inside and mend it? Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. Always together. Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. It lasted forever. Brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters. Is this history? We do the best we can. I wish you'd understand. Now you say you knew it all along. When we sang the seasons like a song, did you know it then? As I played, you danced so sweetly. How could someone change completely? Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. We were outstanding. Can't we just pretend that nothing's changed? The endless lawn is empty. The family room is bare. All that's left are dusty stories no one wants to share. Tiny words on birthdays, maybe send a card. Dusty swingset rusting in the yard. But did we wake up at dawn to roll on the lawn, Yelling like fools as we splashed in the pool? Crying and smiling, there on our island, Sharing our trouble, safe in our bubble, Playing at DJs, wearing our PJs. We had it all, or were we just smaller? Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. Is this so final? Sisters and brothers, sisters and brothers. Vanished like vinyl. Brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters. Wondering what I've done. You took a different name. But I still feel the same. Gone for good and I'm the one to blame.
I just met a girl and I think I love her. I just met a girl and I know I care. Smiles and I’m flying far above her. And I don’t think that I’ll come down from up there. Everything she does makes me feel happy. The way she looks at me makes me feel good. Suddenly the past has never happened. And I know that things will go the way they should. Walking with her’s walking in the sunshine. Seeing her, I see how life should be. All I had to do was meet her one time And I knew that I had met my fantasy. Wondering what she must think about me. Wondering if she will want to stay. Suddenly I’m seeing things so clearly: That this kind of thing could never be one-way. Walking with her’s walking in the sunshine. Seeing her, I see how life should be. All I had to do was meet her one time And I knew that I had met my fantasy.
She smiles when I walk in, But that’s just part of her job description, Has to smile, wants to walk away. I really need to know If that bright look on her face will go If I try to talk to her today. She stands there like a dream. She’s so helpful. I’m so helpless. Does she love me? It’s a mystery? Oh, won’t you tell me what it means when you’re smiling? Oh, won’t you tell me what it means when you’re smiling? She rings up the price wrong. Oh, what is it that’s going on Inside her head, distracting from her task? I smile at her mistake. But deep inside, my heart is breaking. Are you faking? I could never ask. She hands me my receipt. Fingers touch. She smiles so sweetly. Now or never. Make my life complete! Oh, won’t you tell me what it means when you’re smiling? Oh, won’t you tell me what it means when you’re smiling? What is it that makes your pretty eyes nervous? Is it love or only customer service? I have to ask her now. I can’t go on not knowing how she feels. And when I see her eyes, I know, I hope, I pray this love is real. But then she turns away, and even if I dared, what would I say? And now the line moves on. That was it. Was she pretending? Was she friendly? What should I believe? I believe there’s something real when you’re smiling. I believe!
Mama 04:29
I am me. Can't you see?
(this track is meant to be heard together with "Forever Never Ends")
(this track is meant to be heard together with "Confession II") We’re smiling out loud. And that collapses into giggles, which collapse into embrace. We kiss in a crowd. It feels so natural to shiver at the feeling of your face. Suddenly we're soulmates. Kissing 'cause we can. The sun is shining bright at 3 am. This light will last forever ‘cause forever never ends. We lie in a pile. It feels so natural. I don’t know why we didn’t yesterday. We touch for a while. There are no boundaries. I’m happy we will always be this way. We’re innocent as babies. Never felt so pure. Everything is fresh and clean and warm. Living in a movie as forever never ends. It's sunshine in a bottle, a vision in your hand. Try it then you try to understand. We float into tomorrow ‘cause forever never ends. Though I know that summers always end, Who’s to say it has to end today? And though I know that beauty fades away, Forever’s here to stay. The shimmering is fading. The morning cracks our eyes. The second hand is dropping its disguise. I always will remember and forever’s always real.
You don't have to be unhappy. You don't have to feel ignored. You talk to your guy, he barely replies 'cause he's bored. Maybe he is built like a statue. So he drives a fancy car. When you are talking to me, you'll be the star. I care. I'm happy when you share. ‘Cause is life is so lonely. We can't spend it hiding in the sand. It's better with a friend. And while we are talking I will smile and gently hold your hand. I'll help you understand. You don't have to feel uneasy. You don't have to be alone, Hold it inside or cry to your mom on the phone. I am not your average hero. There's no flowers in my hair. But when all the heroes are gone, I will be there. Just shout. It's good to get it out. ‘Cause life is so hard and full of stories you must tell. I listen very well. I want to know everything about your boyfriend's cheating ways. I'm gonna take his place. I listen. I listen. You don't know what you're missin'. I listen. I listen. I listen so well. I listen. I listen. And soon we might be kissin'. I listen. I listen. I listen so well.
Get inside of a moment. Take a trip to my head. Look for the thing that made all my feelings so dead. Make a chain of desires. Lay it out on the floor To find the thing that won't leave me wanting anymore. Although it's easy to talk about, It isn't easy to live without, And trying it's a lie, an act of bad faith. I want to be with you. It's the only thing I need. Everything else is a waste of my time. Everything else is a tease. Go and try what they tell you. Take it out on the street. You'll find out that the real world isn't so neat. Take a trip to the market. You could buy anything. Nothing they sell can carry me out of this hell. Although they offer a hundred wonders, Neon lighting and techno-thunder, It's all a trick, a lie, a joke, a bad scheme. I want to be with you. It's the only thing I need. Everything else is a waste of my life. Everything else is a dream. I want to be with you, and it drives me to the brink. What can I do when you're so far away? What will I do except think?
I could have stopped the world today. The thing I cared about the most got up and went away. Lying here upon my back, I thought I'd have to give up hope and find a different track. I almost threw it all away. I could have turned and gone and done the things that people say. What happens when it all goes wrong? Could be the kind of thing that isn't better with a song. I want everything. I don't know what to do. I want everything but you. I want everything, everything. They say you’ve got to try to dream, But I don’t think they’ve stopped and thought about what that would mean. What happens when it don’t come true? Maybe a fantasy is better kept inside of you. I want everything you couldn’t give to me. I still expect it to be free. I want everything, everything. A stranger passes in the street. And she's so beautiful but doesn't stop to talk to me. Don’t try to tell me that’s ok. We’ve got to kick and scream until we build a better way. I want everything I think the world should give. Do you expect me just to live? I want everything, everything.
How Could I? 03:36
How could I throw away the thing that was the thing I always wanted?
If I wanted it so bad, how could I throw it all away? Give away a dream that was the dream I always hoped for? If I hoped for it so bad, how could I give it all away? You are a superstar. You ought to win a prize. A friend to everyone, with sunshine in your eyes. The people gathered around and shouted, "We believe." I looked around and wished that I could leave. How could I? Another baby born. The nation is amazed. Another miracle, a perfect sleeping face. The people ooh’d and aah’d. I just stood and stared And tried to figure out why they would care. How could I? Did I create a problem where it wasn’t real? Are there emotions I’m not good enough to feel? Was I not strong enough to give in and believe? Or was there something only I could see? How could I?
(this song is meant to be heard with "stay") The kick drum is beating right into my brain. The singer is bleating a silly refrain. I thought I'd be meeting that girl from the train, But the hook is repeating again and again. The club is full of vampires. The music's too damn loud. I need to get myself out of this crowd. Get me out of this party. I don't know how to dance here. What happened to dancing and sensitive speech And courtly romancing and nights on the beach? Of fine conversation and dinner for two, The art of flirtation and love that is true? We jerk around like robots. We're atoms on the floor. We've turned into the people we'd ignore. Get me out of this party. I don't know how to dance here.
Stay 04:57
(this track is meant to be heard together with "Get Me out of This Party") Stay. Won't you stay? Doesn't matter what you heard. You can't just run away. Look at me. It's gonna be ok. Darling, won't you stay? Stay. Stay with me. Don't you see what we could be? Don't throw it all away. Don't believe the things that people say. Honey, won't you stay? Can't you feel this miracle? Just look into my eyes. The race is run. We've reached the end. Forever is the prize. This might be the only chance we have, and it's the only way. Oh, stay. Stay. Stay right here. Show 'em we're not ruled by fear. We don't need yesterday. We are recreated every day. Darling, won't you stay? Memories are tragedies. They keep us from our dreams. They hold us to a standard that no one could achieve. We can never hope to change the past, but we can change today. Oh, stay. Stay. Honey... stay? Don't let little stories make you want to run away. Did they ever happen anyway? Darling, won't you stay? Come with me, and you will see infinity is real. Just close your eyes and realize. We'll follow what you feel. All I have to offer is my soul, is what I am today. Oh, stay.


After a long struggle with love, a boy has met the girl of his dreams… but friends have warned her about his checkered past… and she's about to leave him.  He tries to explain himself… that it was all a noble search for true love, even if there were victims along the way… and would she please just "Stay"?

Songs range from the indie pop moments of "You Don't Have to Be Unhappy" and "I Want to Be with You" to the garage rock of "This is My Confession", the orchestral quasi-minimalism of "Mama," and the dance-pop parody "Get Me out of This Party". And they all gots lotsa nice tunes.

Previously we have released singles on February Records, Elefant, and Dufflecoat. This is our first full-length album.


released January 29, 2013

Ben Morss - vocals, keyboards, guitar
Dan Davine - production, drums, backup vocals, guitar
Rus Wimbish - bass, backup vocals
Shawn Setaro - lots of guitar
violin - Ben Kreith
trumpet - Satish
clarinet - Linus Wyrsch
oboe - Dana Frobig
mandolin - Brian
mastering - Ryan of Canada
art - dan goodwin/february records


all rights reserved



Onward Chariots Brooklyn, New York

Onward Chariots is a little band with big dreams from New York City.  We released our first singles on lovely February Records in 2009 and 2010, and those songs were praised on blogs and played on radio stations from Norway to Brazil.  Since then we've played the Indietracks Festival and Athens Popfest, twice toured Europe, and released a single on Elefant Records and another on Dufflecoat. ... more

contact / help

Contact Onward Chariots

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Onward Chariots, you may also like: